Daak Weekly: Poetry to Cope with Loss and Grief
Dear Readers,
This week, we’re thinking about loss – witnessing the loss of health and mobility in our ageing parents and grandparents, fading relationships which once formed the cornerstone of our lives, dissolving dreams which now seem impossible, abandoning childhood homes in search of new destinations, and shedding parts our own self as we gain new experiences and perspectives.
So, how does one cope with loss and the grief left behind in its wake? There is much wisdom and solace in literature on finding hope and courage in our darkest hours.
For most of us, the first stage of grief is a stubborn, obsessive denial, where we keep re-living the sadness and disappointment. It’s like an addiction – this need to over-examine the situation, imagine alternatives, and somehow bend the universe towards a different outcome. Harivansh Rai Bachchan, the poet who famously imagined the tavern as a metaphor for life, gives us a simple refrain of resilience in his poem, Jo Beet Gayi So Baat Gayi. This lovely poem, drawing on nature’s constantly perishing and replenishing canvas, is a reminder to love truly, feel deeply, and when the time comes, to let go and move on with grace.
How does one do that? Faiz, the magical weaver of words, gives us a lesson in mindfulness and the small joys of life through a letter he wrote to his wife, Alys, from prison. While he acknowledges “blue” periods, he also describes calming moments such as waking up to the morning sun shining on his face or exchanging smiles with his friendly cell-mate. His letter is testimony to the tenacity of the human spirit; even under duress, we can always find glimpses of beauty, meaning and compassion.
In a different (but similar) vein, humour and laughter can be powerful tools to cope with loss. J. B. Haldane, a wildly funny and eccentric English-born scientist who adopted India (or was it the other way round?), was diagnosed with cancer and chose this route to console his friends and family while undergoing treatment. If the big C strikes mortal fear in your heart, rest assured that there is humour to be found even in its deadly grip. Read about his poem, Cancer is a Funny Thing.
Loss and grief are inevitable. However, suffering is a choice. So, choose grace, beauty and humour, and lighten the load for yourself and others.
Love,
Team Daak